It is said that one's desire for something must be strong enough for any hope for him to achieve his goal. It is needless to say but I've been so ready for a comeback. In the depth of being depressed, my desire for good health can never be more sincere. But having great desire has not been enough to help me heal from severe symptoms.
Why?
As I seek to effectively heal from depression and stay away from its symptoms, I run into all kinds of advice. I realize besides praying and a lot of wishes, you must have a better understanding of drugs, know something about your own psychology and apply all the good living habits you can, and most importantly, you must have the unstoppable determination.
One night a friend told me her brother called her from out of state to say that he loves her but that he is so sad that he will take his own life "tonight." She begged him not to. She asked him to fly over to California and stay with her for awhile. She told him she loved him very much and would like to be there for him. He refused and maintained that he will take his life. The conversation ended, she called again but he did not answer the phone, the next day she found out the ultimate sad news, that he did take his own life in the night.
When she shared this with us and asked us to give prayers on behalf of her brother, my heart sunk. I am a good hearted friend, but I am a helpless friend. Everyone wishes they could do more to help prevent the regretful incident. We feel the desperation of the one that has passed and the pain that runs through the mourning sister. There is this strong desire in everyone that is involved, a desire for a brighter side of things. A desire for laughter, for smiles and for love that lives on. Such desire is the common ground between all of us.
The problem with desires is that they may consist of wishes and questions. We wish that there is this invisible door that we can open to be in touch the person locked in desperation. We wonder what internal message that convinces someone to dispose of his own future? Just like that. Thinking deeply, we feel that there must be this yearn to be lifted from that mindset. But there is no door. Someone has decided to lock himself in. All accessed denied. We are tied but one thing we know for sure is that if he had disregarded his desperate temptations and stay hopeful till the next daybreak, there will be a change of event. Life will probably feel precious to him again. But apparently, he no longer wants to wait.
The desire to feel happy is universal. Then why have you not set out to find it? Perhaps you know it but won't acknowledge its presence. You feel it yet you won't honor its relevance. And you may have a misconception about what happiness is made of. I too once falsely identify happiness with concrete and grand objects. I once thought that happiness was dependent on me getting those things I rave days and nights, such as being the center of attention, owning someone else's lifestyle, or gaining the affection of an estranged love. The distance between me and those grand ideals drew out a big void in my life. We must come to a realization that there is no such requirement to feel happiness.
In order for you to turn desires into reality, we must first acknowledge the presence of pure happiness, honor it and stop going off track. I had stopped blaming on destiny. Instead, I am looking to build onto it. Whatever destiny has in store for me, I will make it better. And the last thing I would do is to pity myself, not for lack of luck or for anything else. Disappointments, traumas, and sadness that mental conditions that have turned into prolonging melancholy and overwhelming negative emotions. I don't want any past failure to continue to be the controlling factors in my mentality. These mishaps have been the meaty flashbacks that trigger many manic or depressive episodes.
How to start the process of acknowledging and honoring your desire for happiness? For me, it was about being me again. Feeling depressed and staying miserable made me feel uncomfortable in my own skin. At such moments, I wondered why life must go on? When there is no joy, you stop living your life. Somehow, I have biologically turned back through the evolutionary events to become a more primitive form of human in which life had minimal need for personal self-identification. I became this faceless and emotional-less creature. Instead, I just focus on fulfilling the basic needs and camouflage to get by. Everyday occurrences happen in exhaustive repetitions. Or maybe I was just a robot with flesh and blood, not knowing what emotion is. It is berserk. But I started out to learn once more what happiness really is. My desire for joy is most palpable at times when there is absolutely none.
You know how important happiness is! Isn't it time to honor that desire? What big of a desire do you have in achieving happiness once more? Today's society jumps to the first thought of happiness. People buy and sell happiness every day, through extra possession and bodily indulgence.
It is absolutely normal to search for happiness. No one has to remain immobilized due to the feeling of lacking happiness. You can go through it beating around the bush, making excuses or boldly honoring your quest to be happier. For once, it is alright to act proud about seeking happiness. But happiness does not have to be bought or sold.
Sometimes ill health fools us into thinking that there is nothing we have the desire for. That our soul is empty and the future is nothing but open space. Having been submerged under mental symptoms and ill health for so long may make you forget all of your desires. But whether in illness or in good health our desires are always there. Deep down, strong desires for a good life cannot be forgotten. I am sure that true desires are real, just like fresh leafs are ready to shoot out of the ground from those strayed seedlings. In fact, the knowledge of your own desires for a much better life is what makes it the more difficult for you to cope with severe depression. You know you deserve a much better life. I do.
Are you ready to pursue this desire through with real actions? A rare chance has led you to this blook, you already have what Alexander called "a definitive purpose." In his book "Think and Grow Rich," Alexander has successfully shown how to build wealth through personal realization. His ideas transform people and change lives. They discard the common myths that money is hard to find and difficult to keep. People are led to believe myths as truths through repeat experiences that make them feel battered. Cruel competition among people makes money seems like a rare commodity. But the folks who follow through the ideas described by Alexander find that money is like pebbles on the beach, you either collect and decide to bring them home, or just toss them out on the water for the fun of it. It is all up to you.
Happiness too cannot just run out. You are not left with an empty barrel called the brain. Likewise, the effect of depression makes us feel as though an ordinary life now belong to other people. Yeah. And all we want is to live happily like everyone else. Having a desire to live a quality life should not be too much to ask.
Slowly I realize that feeling better resides in attaining good health and letting myself going back to the basics a little. Yes, the basics. Basics are often good because they are fundamentals. They hardly fail you. If you are like me, I was fine with the fact that there is no next day shortcut to get out of depression symptoms. All I needed to know was that I will have a chance, just a chance to recover. Despite the hardship, I will try if I could count on some hope someday.
I don't mind if it takes time. By doing nothing, I feel consumed by the ongoing symptoms of depression anyway. That's why trying to recover is not going to be time-consuming at all. I know that each minute that I strive to recover means each minute went by with hope. I am ready. Are you?
Thursday, June 22, 2017
Thursday, May 18, 2017
Obituary to my Fellow Man
Trailing Behind
I See You, Someone
Being Carried
In That Long Bed Car.
My Mind Sings Lowly,
"God Bless You."
So, You are Done Here On Earth
With the Things You've Come To Do.
Done With Growing Up
Done With Standing Tall
Done With Looking Large
Done With Feeling Small.
Done With Standing Out
Done With Fitting-In
Done Fulfilling Your Needs
Done Seeking What You Want.
Done With Finding Out
Done With Searching On
Done With Testing Out
Done Being Disappointed.
No More Pleasing Others
No More Pleasing Yourself
It Is Time To Go
Go!
You Came Like a Star
Now Burnt Out In Those Same Light
There has Been No Success
Nor There Been Any Failure.
One Sure Thing and
It's Apparent, That
Your Journey Is Complete
Finished or Interrupted, You Made It.
Be Pleased! And Farewell To You!!
Others Sure Will Miss You, and
Grieve In Your Departure, And
Until Then
Wednesday, May 17, 2017
Side Effects Compatibility and Lexapro
I got surprised to find that Lexapro tops 25 google search list. There are over 30 different antidepressants are available and that market has been under a lot of public attack.
What is Lexapro?
Like other SSRIs, this drug get prescribed for depression and generalized anxiety disorder (GAD). The generic version is Escitalopram. Like the others selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs), it works by making the chemical serotonin more available in the brain, which supposed to improve moods.
After getting so much public criticism, the anti-psychotic market seemed to head to its doom day. But no. Regardless deadlock difficulty face by harmaceutical sales representative whose job is to get the most prescription written by doctors they advertise to, these drugs still sell! This society is committed to lab created remedies.
How effective is Lexapro?
Despite it is a liquid, Lexapro is not fast acting. People must still wait for about a month to start feeling the effects, whatever they might be. Effective dosage is still unknown from user to user. I feel a little repulsive because this liquid must be measured with a spoon, oral syringe, or medicine cup, the way toddlers take their liquid tylenol.
Are there side effects?
This is the familiar list of serious adverse or allergic reactions that warrant immediate attention from a doctor.
Allergic reaction and side effects:
What is Lexapro?
Like other SSRIs, this drug get prescribed for depression and generalized anxiety disorder (GAD). The generic version is Escitalopram. Like the others selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs), it works by making the chemical serotonin more available in the brain, which supposed to improve moods.
After getting so much public criticism, the anti-psychotic market seemed to head to its doom day. But no. Regardless deadlock difficulty face by harmaceutical sales representative whose job is to get the most prescription written by doctors they advertise to, these drugs still sell! This society is committed to lab created remedies.
How effective is Lexapro?
Despite it is a liquid, Lexapro is not fast acting. People must still wait for about a month to start feeling the effects, whatever they might be. Effective dosage is still unknown from user to user. I feel a little repulsive because this liquid must be measured with a spoon, oral syringe, or medicine cup, the way toddlers take their liquid tylenol.
Are there side effects?
This is the familiar list of serious adverse or allergic reactions that warrant immediate attention from a doctor.
Allergic reaction and side effects:
Itching or hives, swelling in your face or hands, swelling or tingling in your mouth or throat, chest tightness, trouble breathing, Anxiety, restlessness, fever, sweating, muscle spasms, nausea, vomiting, diarrhea, seeing or hearing things that are not there, Confusion, weakness, and muscle twitching, Eye pain, vision changes, seeing halos around lights, Fast, pounding, or uneven heartbeat, Feeling more excited or energetic than usual, racing thoughts, trouble sleeping, Seizures, Thoughts of hurting yourself or others, unusual behavior, Unusual bleeding or bruising.
Warnings
For all medicating instruction, please consult with your pharmacist and your doctor.
Less serious side effects are:
Dizziness, drowsiness, or sleepiness, Dry mouth, Headache, Nausea, constipation, diarrhea, Sexual problems. There could be other unknown side effects that are not being disclosed here.
Conclusion:
Given this extensive list of negative side effects, I don't see why Lexapro would win over other SSRIs. Then I found articles discussing about a new concept some psychiatrists begin to promote: compatible side effects. Given that all antidepressants have undesireable side effects, this drug ranks high because of this "compatility." The side effects that come with Lexapro, or Escitalopram sit well with the users who take them. Not that this drug work better, its side effects are better tolerated by those users. That's why doctors prescribe more of the drug to their patients.
It is necessary to be conscious about the other health problems you have. Talk about those problems with the care provider, such as: heart or lungs diseases, seizures, insomnia, sleep apnea, asthma, diabetes, blood disorders, vision problems, Anxiety or panic disorders, digestive track problems, as well as severe psychiatric symptoms that will most likely be worsen by Lexapro's known side effects.
Conclusion:
Given this extensive list of negative side effects, I don't see why Lexapro would win over other SSRIs. Then I found articles discussing about a new concept some psychiatrists begin to promote: compatible side effects. Given that all antidepressants have undesireable side effects, this drug ranks high because of this "compatility." The side effects that come with Lexapro, or Escitalopram sit well with the users who take them. Not that this drug work better, its side effects are better tolerated by those users. That's why doctors prescribe more of the drug to their patients.
While these side effects, if occur, may be tolerable by some people, they may be life threatening to others.
It is necessary to be conscious about the other health problems you have. Talk about those problems with the care provider, such as: heart or lungs diseases, seizures, insomnia, sleep apnea, asthma, diabetes, blood disorders, vision problems, Anxiety or panic disorders, digestive track problems, as well as severe psychiatric symptoms that will most likely be worsen by Lexapro's known side effects.
If you get an antidepressant based on this ranking theory, the important focus here is "side effect tolerability." How well can your body tolerate the prescribed drug's side effects?
Warnings
For all medicating instruction, please consult with your pharmacist and your doctor.
Further reading
NIMH on SSRI
PubMed Health
Side Effects Compatibility
Antidepressants RCOP
Fresno, California – April 24, 2008: 17-year-old Jesus “Jesse” Carrizales attacked the Fresno high school’s officer, hitting him in the head with a baseball bat. After knocking the officer down, the officer shot Carrizales in self-defense, killing him. Carrizales had been prescribed Lexapro and Geodon, and his autopsy showed that he had a high dose of the antidepressant Lexapro in his blood that could have caused him to be paranoid, according to the coroner.
NIMH on SSRI
PubMed Health
Side Effects Compatibility
Antidepressants RCOP
Fresno, California – April 24, 2008: 17-year-old Jesus “Jesse” Carrizales attacked the Fresno high school’s officer, hitting him in the head with a baseball bat. After knocking the officer down, the officer shot Carrizales in self-defense, killing him. Carrizales had been prescribed Lexapro and Geodon, and his autopsy showed that he had a high dose of the antidepressant Lexapro in his blood that could have caused him to be paranoid, according to the coroner.
One Way To Find Your Life Path
Day #16,668.
Three years have passed since I write on this blog. I feel like a gardener who had neglected his garden for a straight three years. Weeds grown, along with many beautiful flowers. But how have I as a person changed? I'm shy before this blank page. What do I want to write today? What message do I like to bring to the world?
It is said that to know about the world is smart. But to know yourself is intelligent. As a common person, I will dare to be intelligent for once, if that is true. I set out to find what this world believe about me. Just a few mouse clicks and I found out, I have lived16,687 days from the day I were born.
There have been 565 full moons but I hardly remember seing about 5. I had traveled through time and space, from the east side of the earth hemisphere to the west, adopting the Gregorian calendar to track time, discarding lunar timing. But I had missed seeing about 560 full moons. I thought I looked outside a lot at night. But I was wrong.
In today's world, we want to express ourselves and believe almost everything everyone say. It could be bad. It is. You waste a lot of time ranting and hear people out. Smile.
But for once, it is joyous to believe the best in ourselves. I found the above poster at www.mybirthday.ninja. The page also gave me some snazzy birthday facts about 9th of September 1971 that I never had the need to listen before. For the sake of today, I will entertain these claims.
It is interesting to find out that I was born on a Thursday and it was the 252nd day of that year. For the next three years though, September 9 will fall on Saturday, Sunday and then Monday (in 2017, 2018, and 2019 respectively.) I'll be more restful, religious and productive by 2019, yeah. By the time the 1971 calendar repeat itself in 2021, I'll be almost 50 years old. I feel like life is almost over. It's depressing isn't it. But until then, let's be optimistic.
I have 115 days left before my next birthday. What can I accomplish in that many days? I suddenly think about my agenda and my life goals, many of which are on delay.
What else does my birthday September 9, 1971 mean? If their interpretation is correct, this date reveals that my Life Path number is 9. It represents selflessness, forgiveness and creativity. I am the philanthropist, humanitarian, socially conscious, and deeply concerned about the state of the world. Seeing these noble characteristics being identified with me, I feel great.To follow this life path means I will be best to focus on creating, donate my time to humanitarian tasks.
The following celebrities have the same life path number: Portia Doubleday, Tim Blake Nelson, Jonathan Dayton, Lupita Tovar, David Jassy, Paul Picerni, Miriam Seegar, Roddy Bottum, Jonathan Taylor Thomas, Sean McClory.
What is the birthday horoscope for Sep 9, 1971? The zodiac sign of a person born on September 9 is Virgo ♍. According to the ancient art of Chinese astrology (or Chinese zodiac), Pig is the mythical animal and Metal is the element of a person born on September 9, 1971.
But I always find awe in stones. Sapphire is the modern birthstone for the month of September while Agate is the mystical birth stone (based on Tibetan origin), a cryptocrystalline variety of silica, chiefly chalcedony, characterised by its fineness and brightness. The zodiac gemstone for Virgo is carnelian.
In reality, these two opposite colors paint my life. When looking within myself, I see these opposite qualities, warm but hot, passionate and indifferent about many things. That's me.
Three years have passed since I write on this blog. I feel like a gardener who had neglected his garden for a straight three years. Weeds grown, along with many beautiful flowers. But how have I as a person changed? I'm shy before this blank page. What do I want to write today? What message do I like to bring to the world?
It is said that to know about the world is smart. But to know yourself is intelligent. As a common person, I will dare to be intelligent for once, if that is true. I set out to find what this world believe about me. Just a few mouse clicks and I found out, I have lived16,687 days from the day I were born.
There have been 565 full moons but I hardly remember seing about 5. I had traveled through time and space, from the east side of the earth hemisphere to the west, adopting the Gregorian calendar to track time, discarding lunar timing. But I had missed seeing about 560 full moons. I thought I looked outside a lot at night. But I was wrong.
In today's world, we want to express ourselves and believe almost everything everyone say. It could be bad. It is. You waste a lot of time ranting and hear people out. Smile.But for once, it is joyous to believe the best in ourselves. I found the above poster at www.mybirthday.ninja. The page also gave me some snazzy birthday facts about 9th of September 1971 that I never had the need to listen before. For the sake of today, I will entertain these claims.
It is interesting to find out that I was born on a Thursday and it was the 252nd day of that year. For the next three years though, September 9 will fall on Saturday, Sunday and then Monday (in 2017, 2018, and 2019 respectively.) I'll be more restful, religious and productive by 2019, yeah. By the time the 1971 calendar repeat itself in 2021, I'll be almost 50 years old. I feel like life is almost over. It's depressing isn't it. But until then, let's be optimistic.
I have 115 days left before my next birthday. What can I accomplish in that many days? I suddenly think about my agenda and my life goals, many of which are on delay.
What else does my birthday September 9, 1971 mean? If their interpretation is correct, this date reveals that my Life Path number is 9. It represents selflessness, forgiveness and creativity. I am the philanthropist, humanitarian, socially conscious, and deeply concerned about the state of the world. Seeing these noble characteristics being identified with me, I feel great.To follow this life path means I will be best to focus on creating, donate my time to humanitarian tasks.
The following celebrities have the same life path number: Portia Doubleday, Tim Blake Nelson, Jonathan Dayton, Lupita Tovar, David Jassy, Paul Picerni, Miriam Seegar, Roddy Bottum, Jonathan Taylor Thomas, Sean McClory.
What is the birthday horoscope for Sep 9, 1971? The zodiac sign of a person born on September 9 is Virgo ♍. According to the ancient art of Chinese astrology (or Chinese zodiac), Pig is the mythical animal and Metal is the element of a person born on September 9, 1971.
But I always find awe in stones. Sapphire is the modern birthstone for the month of September while Agate is the mystical birth stone (based on Tibetan origin), a cryptocrystalline variety of silica, chiefly chalcedony, characterised by its fineness and brightness. The zodiac gemstone for Virgo is carnelian.
In reality, these two opposite colors paint my life. When looking within myself, I see these opposite qualities, warm but hot, passionate and indifferent about many things. That's me.
But none of this matter to me more than the fact that I have lived this much time: 18,012 days or 1,556,409,600 seconds.
Just 18 thousand and twelve days worth of time and I have experienced so much agony, worry, and pain. Yet I rather enjoy a sense of graditute for some rare fortunes and the good souls I have met over those days. Thank you.
After exhaling at least 311 million 195 thousand and 520 breaths, I pray to God for this life, to have let me live among the countless number of creatures on earth. Amen. Nam mo a di da phat.
My message today is "self love." There is no way to be more intelligent than to know yourself, identify with good noble traits, and be proud of it.
Dear friends, I was born in Southeast Asia. Little did I know that on the day I was born, hit song of the day in the US was "Go Away Little Girl" by Donny Osmond...
Thanks so much for checking in today.
Here you go.
Enjoy.
Songwriters: Carole King / Gerry Goffin
Go Away Little Girl lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC
Just 18 thousand and twelve days worth of time and I have experienced so much agony, worry, and pain. Yet I rather enjoy a sense of graditute for some rare fortunes and the good souls I have met over those days. Thank you.
After exhaling at least 311 million 195 thousand and 520 breaths, I pray to God for this life, to have let me live among the countless number of creatures on earth. Amen. Nam mo a di da phat.
My message today is "self love." There is no way to be more intelligent than to know yourself, identify with good noble traits, and be proud of it.
Dear friends, I was born in Southeast Asia. Little did I know that on the day I was born, hit song of the day in the US was "Go Away Little Girl" by Donny Osmond...
Thanks so much for checking in today.
Here you go.
Enjoy.
Won't you go away (little girl)
Wish you wouldn't stay (little girl)
Won't you go away (little girl)
Wooo ooo go away.
Go away little girl
Go away little girl
I'm not supposed to be alone with you
Oh yes I know that your lips are sweet
But our lips must never meet
I belong to somebody else and I must be true.
Please go away little girl
Go away little girl
It's hurting me more each minute that you delay
When you are near me like this
You're much too hard to resist
So go away little girl before I beg you to stay.
Won't you go away (little girl)
Wish you wouldn't stay (little girl)
Won't you go away (little girl)
Wooo ooo go away.
Go away little girl
Go away little girl
It's hurting me more each minute that you delay
When you are near me like this
You're much too hard to resist
So go away little girl
Call it a day little girl
Please go away little girl before I beg you to stay.
Won't you go away (little girl)
Wish you wouldn't stay (little girl)
Won't you go away (little girl)
Please go away.
Songwriters: Carole King / Gerry Goffin
Go Away Little Girl lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC
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